Jimmy on Halloween Day...

“Halloween is a very bad day to get stabbed. Because it’s the only day of the year you can walk around bleeding and no one will do anything." 

"Halloween is also a great holiday for kids, it teaches them two valuable lesson: do take candy from strangers and do it at night, after dark.”
 

Jimmy on Hollywood Boulevard during Halloween Weekend...

“This is the worst possible weekend to be a costumed character out on Hollywood Boulevard because everyone is a costumed character on Hollywood Boulevard.”

“It’s hard to make tips when you’re one of thirteen Sponge Bobs.”

Jimmy on Heidi and Spencer dressing up as Jon and Kate Gosselin for Halloween...

“I don’t like their costume. You can’t make fun of Jon and Kate if you’re more despicable than they are. It’s like if Hitler dressed up as Bin Laden.”
 

Jimmy on “suicide tourism” becoming a problem in Switzerland...

“Apparently, terminally ill people have been travelling to Switzerland because assisted suicide is legal there. And then they kill themselves. Which, I guess gets you off the hook for the hotel bill.”
 

October 30, 2009